Dear Kay,
It's stupidly hot today. I only managed to climb out of my pyjamas at about 4 in the afternoon, and that was after getting up at 12 and having a nap at 2. My entire body shuts down when it's hot, and I still spend the whole of winter, autumn and spring waiting for my summer. It's very rarely ever the right temperature, it seems.
Squidge's grandmother died today. I'm fairly sure that she was his last grandparent, and I feel pretty bad for him, I think. I went over to his place before because we were supposed to be going out to the beach and dinner, but he dropped it on me basically as soon as I walked in the door. I kind of knew what he was going to say by the way he lead up to it. Not that I knew her, I only just met his other triplet. But still, we spent an hour being awkward on the couch watching test cricket (I couldn't really contain my rampant ambilvance, unfortunately), and then he left for the hospital. He asked me if I'd ever seen a dead body, and I told him that I hadn't. I asked him if that was what he was anxious about, and he said no. I told him Dad and had seen Grandma's body at the hospital after the died, that Mum had been there when she went. That it was one of those strange things hospitals do, because you won't see them after that. Not usually, unless you want to.
He was just really quiet and did that boy thing where they're obviously upset and quiet, and then you ask them if they're ok and they say they're fine. Give you a weak smile and carry on being quiet and upset.
He asked me if I'd been to many funerals, and I said one. Because I didn't go to yours.
I remember Angie calling me from Japan after I emailed her the news, and her abusing me for not going to your funeral. In her typical pushy way. I had to work, I think, but I hadn't really tried to get out of it. I didn't want to feel like I was intruding, and I didn't know if it would be appropriate. I hope that lots of people were there. I hope you know I wanted to be there.
But I didn't tell him about all that. I told him about Grandma, and that was all.
I miss you.
--K.
